My introduction to Ottawa was inauspicious to say the least. First off, what kind of city has a station that isn't walking distance from the centre? If that wasn't bad enough the bus link runs hourly. And, due to its remote, disconnectedness, the station ranks amongst the most soulless places I've ever been. And I've been to Frankfurt.
I was staying in a converted jail - I'm all over a gimmick - but the atmospheric novelty quickly wore off when I found I was in a three foot by nine foot cell. For the record, there's not much space in a three foot by nine foot cell.
I was directed to Byward Market for dinner. Now in my head that sounded like a decent place to get a tasty snack from a tasty snack stall. Turns out all the stalls were closed which left a load of oversized Irish pubs full of frat boys getting LabourDay loaded. Wholly unpleasant. Guess I'm getting old.
Anyway, the next day (when I'd eaten and I'd got my sense of humour back) I found that Ottawa was actually alright. A lot of the buildings are suitably impressive and the riverside walks are ace.
One tiny criticism, on my first day of walkinh there seemed to be charity muggers on every intersection like some insidious YOLO cult. It was almost threatening. Not sure what they were mugging for, I'm gonna assume it was for their experiments in eugenic cloning and ultimate world domination. I didn't give them money. Not certain why anyone would. Maybe Canadans are less cynical.
Speaking of which, I went to the light show on Parliament Hill. It starts with a history of Canadia and then halfway through morphs into something resembling an announcement from the Capitol. The crowd lapped it up. If they had done anything that blatantly patriotic back in Blighty they would be apologising for weeks.
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