I Can't Believe It's Not Butlin's

So I went to Dharamshala. That's a bit of an overstatement. My exposure to Dharamshala was limited to ten minutes of traffic jam caused by someone being selfish / ignorant (standard Indian traffic jam). I actually went to McLeod-Ganj which is where people go when they say they're going to Dharamshala.

Even that's a bit of an overstatement. My McLeod-Ganj was limited to getting my Buddhist on. I went to the Dalai Lama's temple. I can't help but feel a bit let down, I was kinda expecting one of the most important buildings in Tibetan Buddhism to seem more spiritual and less like a cheap, sixties holiday camp (to be fair, most of McLeod-Ganj had a similar vibe. The only building which didn't scream sixties holiday camp was Chorten, a pretty Buddhist temple, outside which they were selling scream masks). Still, I got my pilgrim on, walked the Kora circuit, span a few prayer wheels, smiled at some monks and then headed higher up into the hills.

Where I actually ended up was Upper Bhagsu. A backpacker village creeping between the pine trees and into the mountains. It was so backpacker, with its Reiki healing and its tabla lessons and its stinky-dreadlocked-acousticguitars. Off the top of my head I can't think of anywhere more backpacker. It made San Pedro look like Copiapo (that's the second callback of the post; that's selfindulgent even by my standards).

But don't get confused and go to Bhagsu and expect the backpacker treatment. Hell no. It's like Puri, another one of those places where different tourists colonise different bits. One hundred metres downhill and Bhagsu is entirely for Indian tourists. By which I mean eighteen-thirties men who are away from home for the first time so have drunk a little bit too much Old Monk.

Upper Bhagsu; falafels and homeopathy. Lower Bhagsu; Szechuan noodles that have been toned down so they're not too spicy. Both are smelly in their own way, I recommend not leaving the Vashnu Mata Temple between the two. You get to walk up a lion mouth staircase - who doesn't love that?

Oh and here's a bonafide travel tip. If you are in Bhagsu, don't eat in Nex Cafe. Worst food I've had in India. And that's coming from a man who once ate a Domino's.