...To The Imitation Zone

Standon Calling is probably my favourite festival. Don't get me wrong, V and Reading serve a purpose and I've had a couple of great Glastonburys but I just think I've grown out of big festivals.  Even Bestival, the first time I went it was all fun and excitement; the last time I went it took me over twelve hours to get there which just takes the shine off it a little bit.

Standon Calling though. It's great. Showers. Good toilets. The kind of bands I want to see. Good food. Few queues. Limited idiots. And it's only an hour's drive away. Best Fest.  No messin. 

That said the idiot quotient was obviously higher than I thought as ****** **** were filming there. Now I don't know if you've seen ****** **** but it's about as bad as it's possible to make television (which is why it's not getting a mention). It's a half-hour TOWIE-themed Blackberry commercial and every bit as bad as that sounds. I feel that my whole Standon experience has been tainted. I'd heard through the Essex grapevine that we were on it, so I turned my brain off and steeled my eyes for punishment. 

The juxtaposition was almost worth the tedium. One of my mates was shown wearing a full home-made duck costume, quickly followed by someone in a shop-bought Indian headdress saying 'do you think we're we're the only ones that have made an effort with fancy dress'. The correct answer was 'No, fake girl, other people have made more effort than we have.  We're just wearing what the ****** **** stylist put us in.'

Incidentally someone there asked if I'd made my costume. I was wearing a limp cardboard horse.  I thought it was fairly obvious that I had, but it did make me wonder whether there is a market for slightly rubbish but high effort fancy dress. #possiblecareeropportunity