Four Star Review

Well that's one of the biggies ticked off my bucket list.  The Edinburgh Fringe, finally.  How's it taken thirty something years to get that one off the list?  How comes that's after Rio Carnival and New Orleans Mardi Gras?  It doesn't make sense. I've got mates that go regularly.  Mates that have performed there. It's on this island.

Anyway.  Done now. Let's move on.

I had been to Edinburgh before, but hadn't seen much of it.  My only real memory of it was that it smelt of corned beef (it still does); so I interspersed my fringing with a soupçon of exploration. Now, whilst I'm new to this Fringe malarkey something that I do know is that it doesn't need any more reviews, there's so many that it distorts everything and you have no idea whether or not something is good.  I'm going to try not to present any opinions and merely (selfindulgently) give you a rundown of my diary, so you can recreate it in the comfort of your own home using Youtube, irnbru, a treadmeal, a deep-fried pizza, and maybe a tramp urinating in front of you whilst you sunbathe, if you happen to have one.

Wednesday:
Limbo Sketch Comedy: Fisting for Biscuits
The Men Who Stare at Jokes

Thursday:
Barry at Arthur's Seat
We've Become Mango
Blam! - someone jumped an office chair over a table, did not know that that was possible.
I'm Sorry I Haven't Haiku - the western world's first haiku based panel show
Rubberbandits

Friday:
Candyfloss and Barbed Wire
Mitch Benn
David Mills
Sophia Blackwell - who, for the record, was amazing
Beard Envy - who very much weren't
Scroobius Pip
Bo Burnham

Saturday:
Short and Swede
[insert weeing tramp here, ideally on the roof of a shopping mall accompanied by a pooing dog]
Ross vs Violich
John Kearns - this was a free show - I'm guessing it won't be free next year.  Well zeitgeist.
Andrew Maxwell
The Boy With Tape on His Face

Standon Delivers

It's festival season.  Whoop. Just got back from Standon Calling, I'm pretty brand loyal to Standon even though they keep spurning us in the fancy dress competition.

One of my favourite things at a festival is seeing bands play ridiculous covers.  Top 3 Standon Calling 2013 covers:
3. Bastille: Corona - Rhythm of the Night
2. Alunageorge: Montell Jordan - This is How We Do It
1. Gideon Conn: Outkast - Ms Jackson

Best thing I saw this weekend tho was Erin K's song about a horse head, can't remember the last time a song  stuck with me so much on one listen.

The List Gets Longer...

A Field in England - yet another thing that's critically acclaimed that I just can't even pretend to get.  It was flashy and gory, which I liked but I'm not sure I can say much more. Hmmm.

Lately there seems to be a lot of things that I'm adding to the list. Am I dumbing down?  Maybe.  It just seemed to me to be the kind of film that's played in a dark room in the corner of an art gallery: if that's where I'd seen it I wouldn't've lasted two minutes.

Next time I hear of it it will be top of all the films of 2013 lists...

One of the Main Ones

I saw my first Pinter play - Pinter's one of the main ones right? I didn't get it.  It was the Hothouse - The John Simm / Simon Russell Beale one, so about as high quality as a cast gets - didn't get it. Didn't get the point of it, didn't really get the plot (although I think that that perhaps is the point of it), didn't like any of the characters.  Can someone explain it please?  Or should I have just started with the Birthday Party, rather than being lured in by a starry, starry cast?

What I did get was the final part in the Cornetto Trilogy:  Three Colours Mint or whatever it's called.  There'll be reviews all over everywhere for it this weekend so I'll just say it was a lot of fun and leave it at that.

Talking of films, just seen the trailer for Ender's Game. I'm currently reading the novel. It's actual proper sci-fi. Not certain I've ever actually read proper deep space science fiction before (I tried - lots of people seem to rate William Gibson, Philip K Dick and Iain M Banks, didn't get more than 30 pages into any of them before I dismissed them), I was pretty embarrassed about reading it with its planets on the cover - had to hide it inside a copy of Fifty Shades - but I'm quite enjoying it and looking forward to the Hollywoodisation of it.  Guessing it will be a 12a, everything's a 12a nowadays, all the gritty edges taken off films so that the Man can sell more tickets. Boo.  Still holding out for an 18 cert for Catching Fire, think I might be out of luck.  Sadface.  

All My Basques in One Exit

I've just been to the Basque Country.  I tried blogging whilst I was away but my technical ineptness left me floundering so I spent my time drinking Rioja and eating pintxos instead.  So guess I'm just going to have to chat about rioja and pintxos:

We tried to get to La Rioja but made the mistake of trying to go from San Sebastian, a place which just isn't designed for the budget traveller.  Someone there thought that 245 Euros was an acceptable amount for a day trip to three vineyards. For the record it isn't. Not when the wine itself averages about 3 Euros a bottle and there were vineyards within walking distance of Zarautz, where we were staying for the bulk of the week. The vineyards were Tzakoli, a quasi-fizzy white wine, rather than tasty tasty Rioja, but they had pretty good views and enough grapes to tick a box. For the record, when we got to Bilbao we found a Rioja tour for 20 Euros, so if you're in the region...

Do you know what pintxos are? They're the mid-point between tapas and meals and just hang out at the bar all day, waiting to be munched.  When we first arrived they seemed like the greatest invention ever; by the end of the week the novelty had warn off somewhat.  Man cannot live on jamon Iberica alone.


So yeah, we based ourselves in Zarautz and bobbed along the Basque coast to a scattering of places (Deba, Getaria even San Sebastian) which, whilst superficially touristy, seemed off the Brits abroad radar.  We topped and tailed the trip in Bilbao and Guggenheimed it right up; Bilbao's a city that's better in the sun - I'll tell you that for free.
 

Ten things I hate about Hume

So continuing the theme of not getting stuff that I feel I should, I don't get Gary Hume. Never have done.  I just don't understand why he's rated.  And I feel bad about it, on the whole I like modern art.  There's some of it I don't like, but "get" - like Lichtenstein - and there's some that I "get" for all the wrong reasons - that jumping pixie video in Tate Modern.  But it's quite rare that there's a big name artist that I just don't see any merit in at all. Please can someone explain it to me (and whilst you're at it, please can you explain Cy Twombly too).

Something else I don't get is the second half of Taming of the Shrew.  Now the first half is Ten Things I Hate About You, which is thoroughly enjoyable; but I can't help but feel that the casual misogyny of the second half dates it somewhat.

And also, support your local giraffe hunt.

Belgian Waffle

Amsterdam: city of sin and stag parties. I went to the Rijkmuseum - well "Lad".  It had just been refurbished after however long and I figured it was one of the big ones to tick off.  And yeah, the refurb is pretty good, the building is impressive and all the rooms seem all light and airy, the downside of the new, light, airy rooms is that it completely emphasises how brown ALL Dutch art is.  So. Very. Drab. All of it.  

Mainly though, I went to Antwerp. Which may just be the coolest city I've ever been to.  That is if you count "cool" by how many art galleries and cheese shops somewhere has, which I do. Seriously, so many art galleries. Maybe 1 in 5 buildings, until you get to the artist district, by which time it's 2 in 3 - and the things that aren't art galleries are trying to be - clothes shops called Your with a sign in the window "We will rip you off"; basically an art gallery. It was a whole city of Chorlton.

Slight gripe: I feel like all I've eaten is chips, sorry frites.  Even going out in the evening my bucket of mussels came with chips (conversation: "Have you tried muscle sausage?" "Erm?" "Sausage, for your mussels." - he meant sauce - I didn't correct him). I feel somewhat starchy.