Fjord Escort

I've been spending the last couple of days getting snowed on and heading back to where I started. This direction we've been passing that scenery stuff during daylight, which has the advantage of being able to see it. It's been some of the big name stuff that we've passed too: Trollfjord, Torghatten, The Seven Sisters (they were trolls before they were mountains, don't you know?), Raftsundet - all things that I hadn't heard of two weeks ago.

I've seen a couple of those town things too. I stopped at Svolvaer, which was positively abuzz with the cod fishing championships, and Bronnoysund, a town that has probably never been described as "abuzz".

Seen a couple more wildlifes. I saw a white tailed sea eagle (or an erne as my Dad would have loved to have pointed out) relatively close up, she came to inspect my lunch - she was out of luck, I'm not great at sharing lunch. I also saw four or five dark leapy things, they were quite far away but I suspect that they were minke whales. Still no puffins though.

So, Norwegian fjords box ticked. What have we learnt?

1. Most fjords are a lot less fjordy than I expected. In my head fjords are narrow with thousand foot high cliffs on either side. Most of the fjords I've seen are really quite wide with relatively gentle slopes. Guessing that both types exist, Norway does have a phenomenally long coast line after all (longer than Africa apparently - I've not checked that fact,  but it's too good not to regurgitate, never let the truth get in the way of a good yarn). Guessing that my fjord stereotypes aren't navigable in a car ferry in winter. I blame Slartibartfast.

2. You have to be fairly lucky to see the Northern Lights and even if you see them there's no guarantee that they won't be rubbish.

3. Norwegians love a statue. It seems that whether you're busking (Svolvaer), selling fish (Kristiansund) or waiting for a bus (Tromso) if you stand still long enough someone will carve you.

Stop, Hammerfest

Hammerfest. What a name. It sounds like a DIY expo or a celebration of horror movies. It's neither. Instead it's the world's northernmost town (and yes, I know that this is contested and potentially controversial but it's my blog so my rules). We had snow in Hammerfest which made it all the more Arctic and since then this nature stuff seems to have kept on coming. Hashtag smug.

After last week I was slightly worried that my expectations of the Northern Lights were unfairly high as they were based on photos and, as anyone with an SLR camera in the Arctic will tell you at length, cameras make the Northern Lights look way better as they pick out colours the human eye can't see. Was my perception of what they should look like skewed? Was last week's spectral smudge as good as it gets? They turned up last night and put on the full display - green shapes all over the place. The sky looked like a hifi from the early nineties.

Why have one phenomenon when you can have two. The moon did its eclipsing thing over a snowcapped peak. The impending clouds held off until peak eclipse, rolled in and hailed all over anyobe watching. All told more spectacular than my last eclipse experience where I missed it completely and had to make do with Matt and PJ re-enacting it on the side of a swimming pool.

And on top of all that nature, I saw me a wildlife. The man next to me stated with some certainty that it was a whale. I don't have any experience of whale spotting so who am I to argue? Turns out whales look more like seals than I expected.

Fjord Fjocus

I've been to Kirkenes. Now you've almost certainly not heard of Kirkenes because it's really far away. It's still in Norway, but I am probably further from Oslo than you are. Unless you're reading this from Malaysia where my blog is inexplicably popular, in which case, well done, you win.

At the risk of going boringly Lonely Planet on you, Kirkenes is basically in Russia. It's east of St Petersburg (fairly remarkably it's also east of Istanbul, which hurts my head a little bit) and the street names are bilingual, that's how in Russia it is. Yet it also has troll souvenirs and a designer kitchen appliance shop to let you know you're still in Norway. Added ro that there's door to door sheet ice to add a smattering of mild peril to every day life.

In other news, I've still not seen any wildlife more interesting than a seagull and those Aurora things - despite being all shiny back in Blighty - are conspicuous by their absence in these parts.

The Arctic Capital

I am in the North. I am about as far north as you can get on mainland Europe and there's not a fat lot here. Rocks and ice. Ice and rocks. And sea.

I left Tromso, the Arctic Capital, yesterday evening. It's the most northerly city in the world, apparently and has a history elbow deep in polar bear gizzards. It was a bizarre place. Surprisingly like any other city, with its H&M and its museums and its trendy cathedral and its cafe culture, just with piles of snow at one side of any surface people would be travelling on.

Went to Trollfjord. That's where the trolls live. Sadly I didn't see any. Which was hardly a surprise, given the all conquering darkness. Trollfjord is supposed to be absolutely spectacular. The small amount of it that I saw looked fairly much the same as any other circle of spotlight-illuminated rock. Note to self. Next time bring flares.

Reflections of Dead Maidens

I crossed the Arctic circle a couple of hours ago. Well Northern.

The big box tick since my last post is seeing the reflections of dead maidens; eskimo chiefs playing football with a walrus skull; Aurora Borealis; them there northern lights. Well Phillip Pullman. Now I know I can come across as someone who hates everything that other people like but I really don't mean to. That said, they were decidedly mediocre. Reminded me of the sky over Hylands Park on V weekend, only without thr throbbing bass. And way colder.

What else have I been up to? Mainly eating herring. 

I went to Trondheim, Norway's third city. I liked it. There was a buzz about it that was missing from Bergen.

I've also been to Alesund, a town which gave me an Elvis Costello earworm and is also chock full of Art Nouveau architecture.

In other news, I have just finished Wonder by RJ Palacio. When I started it I was pretty cynical (who'd have thought?) but it properly won me over. Off the top of my head I can't think of a book that has given me more of a warm glow, which is handy as I'm spending a lot of time standing in the Arctic wind watching faint smudges in the sky.

Fjord Fjiesta

I'm in one of those fjord things in that Norway. Seeing what all the fuss is about. I left Bergen yesterday, so don't have much of a frame of reference but so far, so fjordy.

Not certain what I made of Norway's second city. It was certainly pretty and quaint and wooden and UNESCOy and there seemed to be a fair amount to do, but I'm kind of glad that I didn't spend more time there, which seems like a horrible thing to say.

I'm travelling up the coast on a working ferry which means stopping at a whole heap of tiny, tiny ports (I'm reluctant to call them villages) in the middle of nowhere. My knowledge of Norwegian coastal geography is going to be immense by the time I'm done. Sadly Norwegian Coastal Geography is one of the rarer pub quiz rounds...