Heroically Out of Touch

I impressed myself with how out of touch with modern culture I am yesterday. I was having a chat with quite a respectable lady - it went something like this:
Me: So, what are you up to for New Year's?
Them: Going to a party in our village.
Me: Will that be a raucous one?
Them: Yeah, probably. There'll probably be a wee tournament.
Me: "A wee tournament"? That's more than raucous, that's off-the-chain mental.

And then it sinks in and I do some blushing.

Me (again): You meant Nintendo Wii, didn't you?

Happy New Year people, see you on the other side.

Pizza My Mind

I don't get Italian restaurants. I just don't understand them. What are they about? Really?

As a rule you get to choose between pasta (for those who don't know - small bits of slippery bread normally served in ketchup) or pizza (half a cheese sandwich sprinkled with leftovers). It's student food, people. Why would you go to a restaurant to eat student food. Nothing against either per se, both have their place, but why would you go to an Italian restaurant through choice when you can go to somewhere which sells real food for grown ups?

Ever since reading the Eat part of Eat Prey Love (turns out it was actually "Eat, Pray, Love" consequently I only read the "Eat" bit - I tried with the other bits - just didn't interest me, sorry) I've wanted to go to Da Michele in Naples and have the Margherita to see what all the fuss is about.

I was coerced into an Italian restaurant (a Napoli restaurant, no less, albeit a lot closer to Covent Garden than Campania) and there they were hyping the face off of their Margherita. Given that the rest of the menu offered absolutely nothing of interest and that this was supposed to be all authentic I figured I should give it a shot. One Napoli style Margherita. A food stuff so bland it's not worth describing with anything more than a shrug. This was your signature dish, restaurant, why would you do that to me? Why?

Tinsel-faced Nincompoop

Hello Christmas, you tinsel-faced nincompoop.

Belittling your omnipresence and querying why everyone changes their behaviour around you / because of you seems thoroughly grinch-esque, so I'm just gonna give you a courteous nod and keep on walking.

In other news and responding to my last two posts. I managed to sneak another one of those must do things - I saw me a Hamlet. The nuts one, set in an asylum called Denmark. Really good it was.

Something else that's really good is Let England Shake. Objectively, as a piece of art, it is the best new album I've heard this year. So I stand corrected. Apologies for casting aspersions / pre-judging etc.

Although it didn't make me smile as much as when I heard Kate Tempest guesting on the new Beans on Toast album.

Bucket Lists

I became aware of the Travel list challenge a couple of weeks ago - one of those facebook-showing-off-I-bet-you-haven't-been-to-the-great-mosque-of-cordoba-app-things (40 out of 100, since you ask). It send me into a spiral of wondering (I won't relate the full thought process but it ended up as) what bucket list stuff have I ticked off this year?

Now I don't mean to brag but I've ticked off a fair few of the things on the list in previous years (detailed at length in previous blogs, so no need to be tedious), but what about this year, what have I done that's new and exciting? Am I losing my edge?

Now I've done a couple of firsts that I'm quite proud of - fallen down a cliff; received my first letter from environmental health; had to dig a car out of a sand dune - but I'm not sure they're on everyone else's to-do lists. If you take things like that off the list then I'm not left with much. In fact I'm left with exactly three:

1. Worked abroad. I reckon this is quite a big one, probably something that every one should do. But then I'm not sure that I did it properly - shouldn't I really be living in an apartment, rather than hotel hopping?

2. Went up the world's tallest building. And that was mediocre. Nothing against the Burj Khalifa (it's tall and shiny) but the viewing platform called 'At The Top' is a bit of a misnomer - 'Halfway Up' would have been more appropriate, or even more appropriately 'Just taller than the one in Shanghai so that we can call it the highest viewing platform in the world.' I hope that that new clocktower in Mecca does have a viewing platform at the top so can blow raspberries all over Dubai's smugness. For the record - I think that that tower in Mecca is ace. It's really, really tall, but looks like a real building. Why's no one done that before?

3. Climbed a Himalayan Peak. A good solid Bucketlist item this one. But somewhat sullied by getting so sunburnt that my face leaked which, incidentally, is another first, and another item not on most people's lists.

So yeah, all the interesting bits of my year can be summed up in three paragraphs none of which were interesting. Please can you provide suggestions of what I should do in 2012, I'm gonna boxtick its face off.

Bored of Music

That's unfair, but there does seem to be a lot of dull music about. I've heard more things I like this year than I have most years recently - Tune Yards, OFWGKTA, Bert Miller and the Animal Folk, Azealia Banks, Beans on Toast, Africa Express Sound System - I'm just really disenchanted that PJ Harvey has dominated the PJ Harvey awards, pretty much a clean sweep of them. Last time I bought a PJ Harvey album because of the hype it was VERY boring. And I can't help but think that this one won't be any different. But it's won everything. And it's not like the people waiting in the wings are in anyway interesting: Gillian Welch, Kurt Vile, The Horrors; very very yawn.

I'd do a top five albums of the year but I don't think I've liked five albums that have been released this year. So in the interests of self indulgence, I shall present my top 5 live music things this year:

5. Snoop Dogg, Yas Arena - What a juxtaposition; gangsta rap in the UAE. It wasn't really number 5, I just wanted to look cool and I refuse to acknowledge that I really enjoyed seeing he-who-shall-not-be-named. Snoop was ace tho.

4. Gruff Rhys, Cadogan Hall - Yeah it was seated, but an inflatable palm tree goes a long way.

3. B Dolan, Scala - Not to be confused with B Dylan who is nowhere near as fun live. I wrote about this a post or so ago so shan't bang on.

2. Prince, Hop Farm - I probably don't need to justify this.

1. Sound of Rum, Standon Calling - A mid afternoon set by an almost unknown band at a tiny festival better than the Stooges? Better than Lou Reed? The Streets? Patti Smith? Arctic Monkeys? Yes yes yes and if you don't believe me I will fight you. And Balance was my favourite album. So if I was voting for the PJ Harvey awards Kate Tempest would have won and the world would be a far smilier place.