I'm back in Yangon, enjoying a respite between two days chock full of travelling to fill up on streetfood and avocado juice.
So that was Myanmar.
Sort of what I expected, sort of not. Before I came out I had heard all kinds of things about the country so I figure I could do some public service by busting the myths:
ATMs work for international cards. There's no need to bring all the money that you are going to need with you. I haven't heard anyone say that the exchange rate is way off the mark either - but then maybe noone has checked their bank balance. That was another one I had heard that it was best to change money on the black market as the rate was way way better than the official exchange rate. It seems to be just over a thousand kyat to the dollar (in Yangon). And yes, you do get a better rate on 100 dollar bills than 50s. And 50s trump 20s. However you can pay for most (big) things in dollars at 1000 to the dollar.
Mint condition notes. I had been crazy paranoid about this and have kept dollars pristine. However I have seen people pay with fairly scrumpled dollar bills. I have only met one person who had a bill turned down - it was a hundred - they said it was mint. They may check hundreds more thoroughly than other denominations, hence the better exchange rate.
Everything is either far more expensive or far cheaper than it should be. Any where you go there is an unexpected tax of between two and twenty dollars.
This is the country where I have spent the most on accommodation (per night). No question. A dorm bed here was roughly the same as it was in Luxembourg and I could only get a dorm in Bagan. Call me old fashioned but if I am paying Luxembourg prices I sort of want Luxembourg standard - wifi, warm water, showers, electricity - not had anight where all wete available throughout.
Getting to the bus station cost more than the six hour bus trip. And there's the rub, if you can do what the locals do it is crazy cheap. Lunch today was really good and enough to fill me up - it cost 60c, and that's not the cheapest lunch I've eaten. Absolute bargain.
Party time (or not). Because of the inconsistent electric supply everything seems to be in line with the sun. I've been going to bed at 9. Not exactly Ko Phan Nagn. I've only seen one "bar" bar (80c mojitos - ridiculous value).
In peak season everything - accommodation, transport - is fully booked months in advance. This is just not true. Hours in advance maybe. In one instance I heard days. Mainly there were options if you needed them.
Your guidebook is out of date. The country is changing so fast that however new your guidebook is, it is out of date. In all probability this advice is out of date, so you may as well ignore this too.
And here are some things I hadn't heard:
Men wear skirts. You thought it was only Scotland? It's not, it is rife here. At least they have the climate for it. And it makes sense: have to keep the knees covered for the temples. "But what happens when they want to play cane ball?" I hear you ask. Simple, wrap the whole thing up into a big man nappy.
Thanakha. All the ladies wear it. It makes your skin stay youthful for longer - i.e. you are more attractive. The only slight issue is you spend your youth walking round with mud on your face - i.e. you are less attractive. It's a conundrum.
They drive on the wrong side of the road. Now that may sound like I am being imperialist, and criticising the driving on the right. I'm not. Well I am but only because they drive in right hand drive cars. They can't see when they overtake and they overtake a lot. The whole country lives for overtaking.
Sixty per cent of adverts are for coffee. Starbucks on every corner? Not quite. Rich n Creamy; Monkey; Super; Mikko: I can name far more brands of instant 3in1 coffee here than home. I don't even know whether we have 3in1 coffee at home. "Mikko instant creamer - for the goodtimes" now that's a slogan. Incidentally my favourite slogan was for a fast food restaurant in Mandalay (and I appreciate that this is mean as what they meant was fairly apparent - silly foreigners not being able to see that in a second language there was a double meaning that subverted the original - idiots): "Good food keep on walking"
When will I learn? This is the third time I've been to Germany in wintertime and each time it has been mighty mighty cold. Almost like the Ryanair flights are cheap because no one wants to go there then...
Hamburg has been one of those cities that I've been wanting to go to for years and I'm not certain how it's taken me so long to get there. It seemed to be a town that was buzzing with energy, but it didn't make it easy for you to find where the actual buzz was coming from. Except at half seven on a Sunday morning when the buzz was very much coming from Altona Fish Market. Bearing in mind absolutely nothing in Germany is open on a Sunday, the sheer volume of people that were up with the proverbial lark for breakfast (or still up for a late supper - given Hamburg's reputation, I probably shouldn't assume everyone loves sleep as much as I do) was fairly ridiculous. Beer, fish sandwich and live music to kickstart a Sunday.
