A Toast for the Douchbags

So I went to Wireless Festival.

Now I knew when I booked it that I was too old for it, that it would be full of people that listen to Radio 1; people that know what an Iggy Azalea is.  I was out of my depth. It's three years since I last went to a Big Festival - I didn't enjoy it then. It was stupid of me to go.  I admit that. So the following rant needs to be put in the context that this is all my fault.  No one else to blame. That being said...

Right let's gloss over the bulk of the day, ignore the terrible choice in expensive drinks, ignore the shambolic between set deejaying, and start with Pharrell. He put on a karaoke set absolutely chock full of hits (Boom).  He also spent a lot of time between songs preaching about equality between the sexes; spouting sickly, quasi-feminist platitudes - "Who's hear today with a woman that's going to change the world?" This was made even more sickly when he launched into everyone's favourite pro-rape anthem. Aah, equality and rape - what a hero. Sorry, did I say hero? It had the right amount of letters.

Still at least the Pharrell set was a crowd pleaser (albeit for a crowd who can't spell hypocrisy). Next came Kanye West, the main event. For just about the biggest pop performer in the world I was expecting some sort of stage show - this wasn't so much the case - no stageset, poor sound quality, no visuals, for a fair chunk of the show the big screens were turned off - this wouldn't be so much of a problem either at a smaller festival, or a festival populated by smaller people - but there seems to be a correlation between obvious pop and steroids so all that about fifty percent of the crowd could see were enormous shoulders.  

Still he did give us a Spectacle.  It was a masterclass in dividing a crowd - stopping songs part way through to have a chat with his entourage, not bothering with his own songs to concentrate on his side project stuff, wearing a beaded face mask for most of the gig.  And then the piece de resistance, a twenty-ish minute rant about the benefits of creativity over celebrity from a man who married a reality TV star.  At the five minute mark the boos started; at the ten minute mark people started leaving; still, it's a show that people will talk about, that you had to be there to be a part of something bigger, something unique - which I guess is the point of live music.

Can't help but think the Festival organisers may be giving back a few more refunds more Drake's cancellation tonight than they may have done.